"Revisions"

As I look at my old papers I notice that all my papers have improved significantly. I had to make many revisions in the comma area and my paragraph organization. In two of my papers I also had problems with sentence structure. I used the St.Martha's Handbook while making many of my revisions. While revising my papers I compared the first draft to the last one. It helped me to compare my mistakes for the final draft. I carefully reviewed each sentence to see if any corrections needed to be made. While revising the research project I took many sentences out so the paragraphs could have more clarity. My narrative draft was the easiest to revise. I had the most trouble with the research project.

Writing Style Changes

English 101 has helped me alot with my writing techniques. The most important thing I have learned is that every good paper has a thesis sentence. In high school, my English teacher never explained the importance of a thesis sentence. She also told us to make we had a organized our paper properly. Another lesson I have learned is the proper way to use commas. I have always have trouble on my comma usage. I believe that in high school my teachers didn't really care if we were using comma the right way, so they never really showed us how to. While writing papers may be hard it is especially hard when you are use to using slang and short terms while email and texting. While writing some of my papers I have found my self trying to shorten some of my words. As a method of keeping me from using shorten terms while writing my papers I try to spell my words out while texting. My overall experience in the class was wonderful. My writing has greatly improved since the beginning of the semester.

Essay Errors

In my first drafts, I had a lot of problems with commas, sentence structure, and paragraph organization. For my comma problem, I referred to St. Martha's Handbook page 710. I practiced on the exercises in the chapter before revising my papers to make sure I fully understand the chapter. Chapter One on The Art and Craft of Writing, helped me with my paragraph organization. The chapter explained how to develop a paragraph and organize your sentences properly. Organizing my sentences became a big problem for me also. St.Martha's Handbook, page 101, helped me with that problem. I found it very hard to get all my ideas into one paragraph, so I started to mix my ideas. When writing my final drafts, I referred to the St.Martha's Handbook while I rewrote some of my paragraphs and sentences.

These are a few of the source I used for my research argument:

The first source has a lot of information on who is obligated to pay for college support. The information will be used in one of my paragraphs that focuses mainly on that topic.
Ward, Wayne V. “Who Pays for College?” http://www.wwlawman.com/ 30 May 2006 Law Office of V. Wayne Ward http://www.wwlawman.com/CM/FSDP/PracticeCenter/Family-Law/Child-Support.asp?f...

The second source has information on the factors that college support is issued. This information will combined in a paragraph with some information from Cathy Meyer.
Johnson, Laura “Child Support &College Support” http://www.smartdivorce.com/ 15 January 2005 http://smartdivorce.com/articles/college.shtml

The third source comes from a college website entitled The Batt. At first I didn't believe the website would provide good reliable information, but after research I learned that professors from the school go back and reread the information that the students have posted. I really didn't use a lot of information from the web page, but overall the information was helpful.
Foley, Sarah “College Costs Should Be Discussed During Divorce” http://www.thebatt.com/
29 September 2003 The Battalion
http://www.thebatt.com/home/index.cfm?event=displayArticlePrinterFriendly&uStory_id…

The fourth source comes from Attorney Marta J.Papa. She discusses what requirements are needed so parents can't exempt themselves from their financial responsibility. She also tells us that kids need to be on top of their game academically to keep parents from withdrawing having to pay for college funds.
Papa, Marta J. “Back to College” Child Support Concerns http://www.divorecnet.com/ 17 July 2004 DivorceNet
http://www.divorecnet.com/states/missouri/moart_24

Mr. Standler provides a twenty-one page document on the legal duties of a USA parent. He provides laws on why college is a necessity and he also gives his opinion on the topic.
Standler B. Ronald “Legal Duty of Parent in USA to Pay for Child’s College Education” 11 August 2003
http://cc.msnsche.com/cache.aspx?q=72339068494458&mkt=en-US&lang=en-US&w...

The last source provides a detailed list of the law on college support in each state.It will used when I compare the state of South Carolina to other states.
Meyer, Cathy “Should Child Support Cover College Expenses?” http://www.about.com/ 02 March 2006
http://divorcesupport.about.com/od/childsupportresources/a/childsupportcol.htm

This is an online article written by Cathy Meyer.

The article is a good source because the author goes into great detail about the reasons of why child support should be paid until children get out of college and she tells us the child support law in each state. Ms. Cathy Meyer has a lot of experience with working with divorced families. She is a single mother, relationship coach, marriage educator, divorce mediator, legal investigator, and freelance writer.

This is also an online article about child support laws.

The website is not a good source because the information in the article is not updated. The information in this website was used from the time period of 1970s and 1980s. The information in my paper will use facts and laws from the present day.

For my visual argument, I plan to use a newsletter to layout my argument on college and childsupport. I felt that a newsletter would be the best format for my visual argument. My newsletter will be seperated into two subheading, each explaining two different reasons for my argument. It will be a mininum view of how my research paper will be laid out. The newletter will contain photos of colleges with captions written underneath.

For the multi - tasked viual argument assignment, I plan to tackle the assignment mostly on Mondays, Wednesdays, and the weekends. On Tuesdays and Thursdays, I have very long classes so it will hard for me to work on the project like I want to . By Ocotber 30, I plan to have the visual argument completed. I will mostly work on the visual argument during the weekend of Ocotber 26- October 28. On the following Monday, I plan to revise the visual argument and make any required changes. Starting November 2, I will concentrate mainly on the research argument. I plan to spend a lot of time in the library preparing my research for the paper. After gathering all the required research, I will start writing the actual paper. From November 15 - the 19th, I will use those days to revise and edit my paper. I would like to give mself more than one day to revise the paper. On November 20, I will turn in my paper to professor Karl Fornes.

Idea of the "American" family

The Color of Water presents two very different versions of a “family.” Consider McBride’s family, McBride’s mother’s family, the family you discuss in the Narrative Definition, and the family presented in the advertisement you chose to analyze. How do the representations of families differ? How do they fit within the idea of an “American” family? Which one best represents what we mean by “family values”? Why?

McBride's family was the family that stayed very close together. Their mother wanted all of her kids to suceed in life and they did just that. She encourged them to always protect each other and never let any one harm their other sibiling. His mother had to raise her kids on her own, true enough the stepfather came home on the weekends but most of the responsibilty was left up to the mother. In my narrative draft, my family wouldn't be described as the "American Family". My mother and father are not together, but they work togehter to raise their two beautiful children. My parents always encourage us to do our best and aim to be successful in life. Eventhough, my family are not considered to be the "American" family, they are a loving family. The family in my advertising anaylsis are a family that comes together in a time of need. When the girl was believed to be using drugs the family came together to support the young girl. They are a family that have a few problems, but out of the three families they would be considered the "American" family.

Paper #1
“Foreign Athletic Limits”
Grade:C-
Explanation: The thesis is not well developed.While reading the paper, I was getting a little confused. In the body paragraphs, the writer did not stay on subject throughout each paragraph. There are some grammar, capitalization and puctuation errors.

Paper #2
“Online College vs. Online High School”
Grade:D-
Explanation: The thesis was not clear to me. The paper overall was not well thought out. There was no type of unity in the paper. The writer did not met the word count goal of 2,000 words. I believe the writer should have took more time on the paper.


Paper #3
“Predisposed to Divorce”
Grade:A-
Explanation: The overall paper was good. The thesis was clear and well thought out. The paper had clarity and got straight to the point. Other than a few puctuations and spelling errors, the paper deserved a healthy A.

Paper #4
“NAACP Case Against Gun Manufacturers”
Grade:C+
Explanation: The paper had a clear thesis, but the introductory should have a little more detail to support the thesis sentence. The writer had very good citations in the paper, but didn't quite meet the word count goal. There were also some grammar, punctuation, and captalizaion errors in the paper.

My advertisement I chose was the flyer for the Tyler Perry play, "What's Done in the Dark...". The flyer mostly tells you about the play, the main character ,and how to go about getting a ticket. It is mostly an informative advertisement, meaning there is more information than visual art. The flyer was small with Tyler Perry's name and the name of the play in bold letters. In small italic letters were the character's name and a description of what the play was about. At the bottom of the flyer in a white box was the information for where to purchase your tickets and the box office number. In the right corner of the flyer was David Mann standing in front of a moon and Tamela Mann sitting in a chair looking up as if she was saying, "Why Me?". The background of the flyer was a dark brown mixed with boack to represent the darkness of the play.

Blog Prompt #1

Hello Bloggers,

My name is Brittany Harris and I'm writing my first blog for Mr. Fornes's English 101 class. I think of my self as an average writer. I'm not the best , but I love improving my mistakes. My AP British Literature teacher always told me that everyone needs help, so don't be afraid to ask and I certainly don't have that problem. I write most of my papers late at night when everyone is asleep. During the day, I am easily distracted and none of my work usually gets done. I feel that at night my mind is settling down from all the day's adventures and I am able to concentrate on my work more. I usually like to sit at my desk and my do homework. When I try to do my work laying in my bed I usually fall asleep. Once I get past my introductory paragraph my paper usually just comes together and it takes me no time to finish. Mr. Fornes told us that the best thing to do was to write the body of your paper first and then come back to it. I plan o use that technique on my paper this weekend, hopefully it will help. I am looking forward to learning alot of new things this semester in English 101 and it won't hurt to make a A+ in this class.